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Debating whether to call in sick to work....

Dude, you have way too much time on your hands.
Well... That's about 45 seconds of my life that I'll never get back.

I was worried that he'd be licking his balls, which thankfully he wasn't. Though they should've propped a beer in his lap. Or maybe slapped on a tee-shirt that says, "No Fat Chicks".