Well, it finally happened. While I was mildly irritated by people on Social Media posting videos of girl metal bands and calling them "BAD ASS" or "KICK ASS" or "ROCKIN' ASS" or some form of ass being used to mean really rocking their instruments and music, there has been a substantial increase in these postings and it has started getting under my skin.
Sure, they can make a good recording (using all the little tricks studios use to make anyone, even your 97 year old decrepit grandmother sound more like Randy Rhoades than Randy Rhoades did on his best day). Sure, they can put on tight fitting skimpy leather garb which enhances their finer physical attributes while minimizing their weaker body parts and make a video with quick cut edits so fast you actually believe the lead guitarist can perform live the arpeggios you hear in the recording. Sure, they can write lyrics about killing virgins or burning witches or tearing shit down. Hell, they can even look almost as sexy and ready to drop to their knees as the male hair-bands they are emulating, such as...
RATT...
Poison...
Or, Extreme...
... but, ultimately, they are pretty lousy parodies of that awful period. Sure, it is great to see actual women looking like the metal stars we confusingly didn't understand could maybe be women in the late 1980s, but their playing is pale imitation, their writing is pure rip-off, and their skills wouldn't get them an opening spot on a triple header with with any Led Zepplin or Gunz-n-Roses cover band.
Here's an example of a well produced song and video by a modern all female metal band...
Sure, it rocks, but other than the speed drumming it is rehashing the worst cliches of the 80's hair band movement. I also cannot help but hear a male voice being tripled or quadrupled with all the lyrics.
Here's the same band playing live...
Well.... they finished the song, but the drums are far from as tight and clean, and she misses or flubs half the bass drum staccatos. The lead guitarist, well, she has great head thrashing skills, but she doesn't come close to playing all the notes on the recording, or even the most interesting and impressive parts.
Don't get me wrong. Burning Witch is a very decent metal band worthy of a low rent music festival or a great kitchie night out with friends and lots of alcohol. But, "bad ass"? I think not.
Double standards - we don't expect to see girls rocking death metal, so we lower the bar to praise this stuff. Nothing is wrong with them, they should keep playing and releasing music and fans can enjoy it, but stop with the over-promotion of this sort of subpar stuff.
Or, whatever, who cares. We're all gonna die from this pandemic by the end of the month anyway.
Sure, they can make a good recording (using all the little tricks studios use to make anyone, even your 97 year old decrepit grandmother sound more like Randy Rhoades than Randy Rhoades did on his best day). Sure, they can put on tight fitting skimpy leather garb which enhances their finer physical attributes while minimizing their weaker body parts and make a video with quick cut edits so fast you actually believe the lead guitarist can perform live the arpeggios you hear in the recording. Sure, they can write lyrics about killing virgins or burning witches or tearing shit down. Hell, they can even look almost as sexy and ready to drop to their knees as the male hair-bands they are emulating, such as...
RATT...
Poison...
Or, Extreme...
... but, ultimately, they are pretty lousy parodies of that awful period. Sure, it is great to see actual women looking like the metal stars we confusingly didn't understand could maybe be women in the late 1980s, but their playing is pale imitation, their writing is pure rip-off, and their skills wouldn't get them an opening spot on a triple header with with any Led Zepplin or Gunz-n-Roses cover band.
Here's an example of a well produced song and video by a modern all female metal band...
Sure, it rocks, but other than the speed drumming it is rehashing the worst cliches of the 80's hair band movement. I also cannot help but hear a male voice being tripled or quadrupled with all the lyrics.
Here's the same band playing live...
Well.... they finished the song, but the drums are far from as tight and clean, and she misses or flubs half the bass drum staccatos. The lead guitarist, well, she has great head thrashing skills, but she doesn't come close to playing all the notes on the recording, or even the most interesting and impressive parts.
Don't get me wrong. Burning Witch is a very decent metal band worthy of a low rent music festival or a great kitchie night out with friends and lots of alcohol. But, "bad ass"? I think not.
Double standards - we don't expect to see girls rocking death metal, so we lower the bar to praise this stuff. Nothing is wrong with them, they should keep playing and releasing music and fans can enjoy it, but stop with the over-promotion of this sort of subpar stuff.
Or, whatever, who cares. We're all gonna die from this pandemic by the end of the month anyway.