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TAKE MY MONEY!!! Kozmophone is the turntable I've waited all my life for

That's the most amazing fucking thing that I've ever seen in my entire miserable life!!

Too bad it looks like some cheap plastic crap that Crosley might churn out in China. Other than that, the $59k price seems reasonable!
 
That's the most amazing fucking thing that I've ever seen in my entire miserable life!!

Too bad it looks like some cheap plastic crap that Crosley might churn out in China. Other than that, the $59k price seems reasonable!
I think that's the crowd funding that they've raised. Looks more like they are looking for funding to build, than to sell at this point.
 
That's the most amazing fucking thing that I've ever seen in my entire miserable life!!

Too bad it looks like some cheap plastic crap that Crosley might churn out in China. Other than that, the $59k price seems reasonable!

That's not the price, but the amount raised. The price appears to be $350, though I would personally prefer a less silly turntable.
 
That's not the price, but the amount raised. The price appears to be $350, though I would personally prefer a less silly turntable.
Oh, I didn't notice that probably because I was distracted by how utter stupid that thing is.

Perhaps the "inventors" should concentrate their efforts to something more useful to humanity, like for instance, an app which allows teenage girls to communicate in real time and share pictures of themselves....
 
Perhaps the "inventors" should concentrate their efforts to something more useful to humanity, like for instance, an app which allows teenage girls to communicate in real time and share pictures of themselves....
Chris Hansen would like a word with you.
 
I really like the detachable speaker horn aspect. I have an original 1900s Grammophone with a detachable horn. Only problem is that once I detach it, I can't hear any sound from the horn when I walk around the house with it. Can't figure out why. Looks like they've solved that problem!
 
Dude!!! It has a secret compartment. That single feature is what I didn't know I needed on every turntable I've owned to date.
 
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How the fuck does a 360 degree rotating speaker deliver uniform high quality audio to all listeners in a room?
 
And, there are plenty of idiots that will buy this. The hooman race is truly doomed.
 
8ebd4558bddbc94d8f85f711e582ed9b_original.gif


How the fuck does a 360 degree rotating speaker deliver uniform high quality audio to all listeners in a room?


Who cares?!?!?! They couldn't stop me from paying extra for a version where the speaker rotates like that on its own while music is playing.
 
How the fuck does a 360 degree rotating speaker deliver uniform high quality audio to all listeners in a room?

To be fair ... They didn’t say that all listeners get high quality AT THE SAME TIME.
 
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How the fuck does a 360 degree rotating speaker deliver uniform high quality audio to all listeners in a room?
Thats simple. Everyone in the room moves to where the speaker is pointing. Problem solved.
 
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